The road to recovery
Mapping out a wellness plan
One of the best things you can do is to help your Partner define and meet his or her recovery goals as part of a wellness plan. Your encouragement and coaching can be essential to the success of this plan.
In addition to seeking treatment from a healthcare professional, it may be helpful for you and your Partner to go through the following exercise:
- Define goals (if goal-setting is approved by your Partner's healthcare provider)
- Identify triggers or specific events that may cause depression to worsen
- Come up with strategies that can be used to move beyond the illness
- Develop a list of early warning signs that may mean the depression is coming back
Tracking progress
For someone with depression, it can be difficult to recognize the daily improvements that show progress is being made. Help your Partner recognize that he or she is making progress; let your partner know that you recognize that the goals are being met, and celebrate this achievement together. Call out each sign of improvement, no matter how small, by saying things like:
- "I have not heard you laugh so much in a long time."
- "You seem a lot more relaxed, lately."
- "You have started gardening again."
- "You seem to be more involved with projects at work."
Keep in mind that it can make you sad if your Partner's goals are not met right away. Focus on small goals at first and wait to tackle larger goals until he or she is feeling better. Your Partner may be disappointed, so watch out for any negative talk about him or herself. This can slow down progress, and you should encourage your Partner to try to avoid it. As you go through the stages of depression with your Partner, keep in mind that each person experiences depression (and getting better) differently, and his or her needs may change over time. To keep in step with these changes, keep communicating.
The link between depression and suicide
As someone concerned about a person with depression, it is important that you understand the relationship between depression and suicide. Not all people with depression have suicidal thoughts, and not all suicidal thoughts lead to suicide, but depression-related suicide is a reality. Try not to let the fear of facing this difficult situation discourage you from helping. To determine if someone is having thoughts of suicide, try asking:
- "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?"
- "Are you thinking about giving up?"
- "Do you need help to keep yourself safe?"
If his or her answer is "yes" to any of these questions, it is important that you help your Partner seek professional help immediately. You must have your Partner call their doctor right away. If your Partner is unable to make this call, you should contact his or her healthcare professional.
Although you will be relieved if the answers to your questions about suicide are "no," you should be aware that throughout the course of the illness, a person's symptoms may get worse and that he or she may have thoughts of suicide. Continue to watch for these signs as well as anxiety, agitation, panic, difficulty sleeping, irritability, hostility, aggressiveness, impulsivity, restlessness, or overexcitement and hyperactivity. If any of these changes are severe or occur suddenly, it could signal an increased risk of suicidal thinking or behavior. Be especially sure that your Partner reports any symptoms when he or she is starting any antidepressant therapy and whenever there is a change in dose.
Take care of yourself
Supporting someone with a serious medical illness such as depression can be very tough. Although there is a great chance your Partner will start to feel better with treatment, you may find things improve slowly at first. The ups and downs of living with depression can be very draining on you, as well as on your Partner, so it is important that you take care of yourself. Make sure you take care of yourself so that you can support your Partner.
As a Support Partner, you are invaluable to your friend or loved one who is struggling with depression. You have chosen to take on an important task. It can be a long journey for both of you, but your active support can be the key to your Partner's recovery so he or she can enjoy life to the fullest.