The support plan
The first step is to ask your Partner about the type of help he or she needs. At first, your Partner may not know, or may not want to tell you. Do not give up. Instead, offer specific examples of how you can offer emotional or practical support:
Emotional support
- Call every evening to check in
- Meet once a week
- Help identify emotional and physical symptoms
- Encourage Partner to stick with treatment
- Help Partner recognize his or her progress
- Help set realistic short-term goals, if suggested by Partner's healthcare provider
- Encourage Partner to be as active as possible
Practical support
- Make an appointment with a healthcare professional
- Pick children up from school or after-school activities
- Help with healthcare paperwork
- Cook dinner once a week
- Drive Partner to doctor's appointments
- Run errands
- Arrange a time to walk or go to the gym together
- Make a date to go to the movies
Now that you know your Partner's needs, the next step is to make a schedule for yourself. For example, commit to calling every evening to talk or to picking up the kids from soccer practice. By eliminating the need for your Partner to routinely ask for assistance, you will help him or her focus on becoming well.
Setting future goals
If your Partner identifies practical support as a need, be sure your help does not delay your Partner's progress. While your Partner will value your help, taking on too many of his or her responsibilities will not be helpful to your Partner in the long run. Remember, your role as a Support Partner is to encourage and support. Take each opportunity to build on your Partner's strengths by encouraging him or her to take action. For example, if you have committed to cooking dinner for your Partner every Thursday, you can decide that "cooking together" should be a long-term goal. Check in with your Partner occasionally about his or her capabilities and keep him or her motivated to achieve his or her goals each step of the way.
Organize a Support Partner team
If your Partner is living with moderate to severe depression, he or she may need more help than you can offer. You and your Partner may want to discuss forming a Support Partner team. If you feel this could work, talk it over with your Partner to ensure that he or she is comfortable involving other people. Once you have agreed to involve others, your Partner should first identify other potential members. The team should communicate regularly about how you all can best work together and share the responsibilities.