Breaking the ice
Finding the “right” words to offer your help can be difficult for many people. Whether the person you care about has been diagnosed, or you just suspect your loved one may have depression, starting a conversation does not have to be difficult or embarrassing. In fact, you may be surprised to find the person is relieved to finally confide in someone.
Ready, set…start talking!
When discussing depression, the key to a successful conversation is showing your concern and compassion without passing judgment. Avoid pointing to a person’s past mistakes to start the discussion; also, avoid negative language. Instead, consider these approaches if someone already has told you about his or her diagnosis:
- "I have been looking into depression after you mentioned that you had been diagnosed, and if you decide you would like some help, you do not have to go through this alone."
- "Has your healthcare provider recommended that you set some goals? If so, can I work with you to develop a plan that will help you get back to feeling like yourself again?"
- "It is great that your healthcare professional has prescribed a treatment for your depression, but what about the little things that are still stressing you out? I am here if you need anything."
- "If your depression makes doing things seem impossible, when they used to come easily, I am here to help you with whatever you need."
What to say if you suspect a friend or family member is depressed:
- "Have you noticed you have not been yourself lately? Have you thought about going to see a medical professional? I can go with you, if you are feeling nervous."
- "Do you think a healthcare professional will be able to help you get back to feeling like yourself? Will you let me help you find one?"
- "It seems like you have been having a hard time with things lately. Have you thought about seeking professional help? You do not have to go through this on your own."
If at first you do not succeed
Many people find it difficult to accept help. Your offer may be refused for a number of reasons - shame, lack of understanding about depression, feelings of worthlessness or fear of losing independence. If this happens, do not worry. The time is not right to accept your support. Do not push it at that moment. Instead, gently persist over time. In this situation, the most important thing is that you encourage the person to seek help from, or continue to see, a healthcare professional.