Getting support: Choosing a Partner
What is a Support Partner?
A Support Partner is someone who is committed to helping you become well. This person can provide the encouragement needed to help you believe that depression can be overcome. Support can be given in many different ways by many different people, depending on your individual needs. Some people with depression may need a Support Partner to provide a safe haven for discussing the struggles, triumphs and setbacks of depression, while others may seek help with daily tasks. Anyone can act as your Support Partner - family members, friends, co-workers, teachers, neighbors, support groups or others.
You may find it difficult to accept help at the beginning for many reasons- shame, lack of understanding about depression, feelings of worthlessness or fear of losing independence. If this happens, do not worry. The time is not right for you to accept support. But remember, there are people you can seek help from; you just have to accept their support when the time is right.
The power of support
Asking for a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on should not make you feel ashamed or embarrassed. It means that you are working hard to get better. In fact, having a Partner will offer you many benefits. A Support Partner can:
- Be someone to confide in
- Remind you that you are not alone
- Provide hope that getting well is possible
- Help you track your progress and improvements
- Notice any changes in your behavior that may indicate a setback
- Reduce stress by providing practical support with daily tasks
- Help find a healthcare provider and attend appointments with you
Finding the best Support Partner for you
Before asking someone for support, write down a list of everyone you have a relationship with - people you trust, who are patient and understanding and who will not judge you. You may already have someone in mind to be your Partner, but if you can not think of anyone right away, this list may jog your memory. If you decide that you would prefer to have more than one Support Partner, this list can help you think of the people you want to work with. Remember, while it is important to have a Support Partner in your life, he or she cannot replace the need for treatment by a qualified healthcare professional.
Things to consider before choosing
Now that you have an idea of who in your life may be a good Partner, you can start thinking about the kind of support you need. Whether you need emotional or practical support, thinking about what you need will help you choose the right Partner. Also, it is important to be sure that you choose someone who is not overly busy with commitments and who does not travel frequently for his or her job. If you are not sure about what type of help you need, ask yourself the following sets of questions:
- Do you feel as though the stresses and chores of everyday life are overwhelming?
- Are you neglecting things at home or at work?
- Do you feel like you are neglecting your children?
If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, you may need a Support Partner who can provide practical help with errands or housekeeping.
- Do you often feel lonely?
- Do you bottle up your feelings and emotions?
- Do you wish you had someone to talk to about your feelings, but think others will not care or understand?
- Are you afraid to tell people that you have an illness, and need someone you can be yourself with?
If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, you may need a Partner who can be there for you emotionally.